kicked in corners
Its been two weeks, Im getting bad about doing something easy when I got so much free time.
I feel Blah due to my current situation. Last few days have sucked due to my break up with my lady. We wanted to break up and do the jsut friends thing but it just felt like we had a title of broken up but went about the same routine. I didnt wanna knowledge it cuz Im happy with her but that didnt fly. I cant touch, I cant kiss, I cant hold the girl of my dreams. I get a hug here and there. I feel like I hug her hard like a parent hugging there kid who rarely gets that. Her smell when I hug brings a euphoria of joy Ill have to go cold turkey on. It sucks. I cant see the girl. I have to do the once ina while say hello thing. I dont wanan wait. I wanna call her everyday and I wanna see her everyday and it jsut makes things hard to do. Shes also right down the hall which makes it real bad….exactly
With this crappy situation, I wanna branch out and make new friends or be better friends to people who have been fun or interesting. When you date for so long and depending how you handle friends with dating, you distance yourself from friends or phase out others. I did that to alot of people. So last weekend I tried to ahng out with some people and I either got blown off or not answered back. It annoyed but but shouldnt surprise me. Unfortunately my teams on dry season which makes meeting people at parties out of the question. Im only taking one class and I know half the people in it. With my phasing people out, lack of classes or social ecents, I feel kicked in a corner. Im sure with time, this sill change but I spent my satarday night on my comp cuz there ways no one around and I jsut ended up goin to bed by 1am annoyed.
With only taking one class, swimming has been alot of fun and training has been alot more enjoyable. I getting alot of sleep and free time so it makes sense. I swam an exhibition race at the gmu vs gw meet and my 200 was pretty good considering ym training and the practices I did the day before the race and the practice the morning of the meet. I have a meet in a week and a half and Im excited to see how I will do.
This semester I got rid of my meal plans. I have to cook for myself. I did a half and half of that last year which wasnt bad. Last semster I pretty much jsut made my dinner and ate on campus for th rest. Ive noticed the last few week from making my own food for all my meals that im trimming down which is sweet. Im trying to find new recipes cuz Im making the same kind of meals every two weeks.
When playing ont he computer, Ive been stealing and searching for alot of music via music blogs. Ive got mroe music then I know what to do with. Its been hard lately to get in a mood to let new music sink in. Ive jsut been on a kick for stuff that is familiar. With this free time, Ill let all this new music soak into my ears.
Recently online I won on ebay a majority rule tshirt and their emergency numbers lp, Im psyched cuz I love that abnd and my vinyl addiction is bad. I made the mistake of forgetting to pre order the new genghis tron album at midnight a week ago which means I dont get the limited color press. I emailed the band and label and hopefully I get the color press. I also went online and found a site selling elliott smiths xoa nd figure 8 lps in repress. Ice been aware they were getting repressed but the fig 8 lp is in red and blue since its a double lp and the xo is in white. Most people dont care but I llove collecting vinyl and limited color and presses jsut makes the collecting a bit more fun. Im also waiting on my norma jean box set that I ordered 3 months ago. along with the repress of alkaline trios first lp. When I ordred the elliott smith stuff, I inquired about getting a hold of the test press fot hat album. Test presses are exactly what the name means, they are what the label trys out before deciding on making the lp in masses. Usualy a label makes 3-10 of these maing it in limited number for record geek, this makes your favorite lp even more limited. Im not a big test press collector liek others but it would be something cool to brag about if I did have it. I am waiting from a response and how much it could set me back.
Money is something Im trying to also save these days. I might slurge on vinyl but I dont think its any worse then a girl going to the mall everyweek. As shitty of a comment, Im probably gonna ahve more money saved now that I dotn have a gf. Im aloa cheap drunk so Im not worried. anyway I plan to go to Ireland after olmypic trials to ahng out with Patrick and Grace in Dublin. I got a job driving a kid home form practice and it pays pretty nice for the amount of work required. Im also doing odd things here and there for money (no tricks)
On my travels, I have nothing planned. Other then I plan to spend 2 weeks in dublin and perhaps a weektraveling to germany and france staying with fmaily friends. I have no set destinations int he cities, I wanna play it by ear, meet some people,get drunk alot and have an adventure. Adventures are more memoriable and cooler when their not planned to the teet.
Othere than that, My life isnt too crazy. I jsut follow a routine and dont ahve a whole lot to worry about during the day. This is the life as many like to tell me but I do miss that girl. Id be pretty set if I wasnt crazy abotu a girl that got away. Im thinking things will look up sooner or later.
All I can be is optimistic
