Wednesday April 9th
MINUS THE BEAR
PORTUGAL THE MAN
THE BIG SLEEP
Recher Tehatre
512 York Road
Doors at 8pm- ALL AGES
TICKETS ON SALE FRIDAY FEBRUARY 22ND!
Fri Apr 11- PIG DESTROYER, MISERY INDEX, THE WAYWARD, MAGRUDERGRIND
$10 Mainstage 9:00
Black Cat
1811 14th St.
NW Washington DC 20009
http://www.blackcatdc.com/
trying to make new friends…hick party at matt mcgillicuddys
this is why its catchy
the fucker broke in ym mile
Things are happening, my brain is thinking how to train different.
When it comes to music. Im currently obsessed with the band Boris who are a japanese rock band that use heavy distortion and muddy sound. They sing in japanese which adds to there mystique. I dont wanna know what the lyrics mean but thre is beauty to their language. Im also stoked about the band Genghis tron who I talked about last time. There show is this friday and I plan to go after the big Conference swim meet. There playing at talking head in baltimore and the show is late at night which works in my favor. On top of this Some great shows are soon to come.
March 31st blacklisted and trash talk at ottobar
April 30 saves the day at Rams head baltimore heading lining bamboozled (this show might suck dick cuz every other band that trys to sound clsoe tot hem is also playing…)
May 1st Converge and genghis tron at ottobar
May 2nd Girl talk in richmond
May 6th the cure at Patriot center
May 17th Pulling teeth
May 23rd A silver mount zion at black kat black kat
…I wanna attend as many as possible
Last thursday I met up with my buddy dan lee and his friends for dollar beers at hard times. My tab was 5 bucks with tip for the night and got home by 11. I had plenty of time to get sleep and be fine for morning practice. I also ran into old friends from high schoola dn it was great to see them.
I had a blast drinking with katies roommate Whitney. Before drinking, we got food together and watched the movie “friday night lights” which kicked ass. So anyway my drinking that night was so much fun that I got kicked out of auld shabeen by security becasue I showed signs of being too drunk. I didnt grab at girls or start a fight, they jsut told me that they noticed I was way too intoxicated….lame but I didnt mind goign home. I ran inot old friends at the bar and ahd fun while I was there. I didnt wake up hung over but I spent alot of that night afterward drinking water and going to the bathroom. I wasted my sunday but totally worth it cuz I had a blast.
When it comes to me and my personal life, I feel like Im going in circles. I love the girl down the hall and she loves me. I like seeing her everyday. I still wanna be her friend even though we cant date but I dont wanna push her away. I struggle with that. Im either doin a good job keeping distance but then she gets sad I dont see much of her and I cant lie that I feel the same way. Im trying to meet new people and make new friends but I have her hanging over me. Mentioning hanging with other people makes her curious as to who it is. Im stuck as to weither I should be really distant for while and come back when the hurting stops or jsut be in this limbo till I leave. Which is probably when the hurting is really gonna happen.
The whole search for new friends is hard becasue while I need to make new ones, that girl was my best friend and I dont wanna get rid of her. As harrison ford says in family guy..”I want my family back.” I find this making new friends to replace my best friend hard to follow. My mind tells me its logical to make new friends and slowly move on and becoming “friends” with the girl. While my heart resembles a kicking screaming child holding on to a door frame for dear life while being dragged away……..fuck my life
Im finding is that while my personal life resembles a retarded monkey. Swimming is taking great strides. The weeknd prior I had attended the missouri grand pre and got to try out the new speedo suit “LZR” and went a best time in the 200 free. Unfortunately this “prototype” still had bugs and when I swam it for my mile, the zipperbusted and the suit broke open ( like swimming with a paraschute). Half way through the race, I said fuck it and got out. I was so mad because I felt good in the water and wondered how this new suit could affect my mile untapered. From being pissed off, I accessed how my swimming was goign and decided that Im in a rut, Im tired of bad shit happening in my race and I need to make changes to do better. Other then more yardage and land training, something else had to change…..Its in my head.
On February 19th, my birthday dinner, my father and I spent birthday dinner via Five Guys. There burger are the best. In our conversation, swimming as usual came up. From the conversations, topics of where to train next after trials and how to make a decision. From there my progress and what keeping me back became up. I cant lie and say that Ive never been very confident in myself. From a long convo made simple. The key to being more confident for me is to do more, train harder and accept that I am and currently one of the best distance swimmers in the US. Im not thee best but can be if I do this right. I know if your reading, you wondering why Id not be confident. Ive done great things. I cant answer it other then Ive always had a glass half empty attitude and Ive never thoguht highly of myself. To fix this, I need to understand and accept that in the past three years, Ive shown to be one of the best and I belong and deserve to race the best. When u have a shitty outlook, its easy to dismiss postive things. Ive too many tough breaks and bad swims in my last year and a half that soemthing ahs to fucking give.
Im trying really hard to be confident in my abilities and just fucking let go. I only take on class on campus and I dont really have a gf. I dont have a whole lot hanging over my head so why this semester have I swam well but not great. I ahve all the opportunities to swim great.
From this talk with my father, it finally sunk in that to train better, harder and enjoy it more. I have to be confident because when Im confident, I can do all these things better in practice. From there I can come to a meet with a sense of supreme confidence and know I will tear it up. I put in the hours, I trained my hardest with no doubt I can do something special. I may not be the best one or win the fucking race but somethings gonna happen.
Im already really excited for my next meet. Confidence in little things builds confidence in big things.
Last week it all started making sense. It wasn’t a stroke of genius but the inspiration my father gave me from the conversation. I told myself that it jsut a fucking practice and it may be hard but the next one can be better even if it dont work out. I jsut approached it cool and collective but also optimistic. I thought that if i was confident in my ability, I could do this practice well. Being confident that practice is do-able regardless if my brain wants to argues otherwise has made the difference.
From this outlook, Ive gone the fastest ever last week in practice. From these great practices, Im getting confident. For once Im excited to come to the next workout to see what could happen or how I could preform….Im gald I talked to my pa.
Although my personal life has to take sometime to sort itself out, Im focusing on my swimming. Im learning how to make myself train and approach swimming in a new way that could end with great results. Im excited as to what will happen.
who knows what crazy things will unfold….to be continued
I am looking forward to the lps arriving soon
